Grammar is an essential part of any Language. Without which, communication sounds
like gibberish.
Let's take an example: Out of these two sentences which one conveys the meaning
and seems to be correct?
a) I stress have.
b) I have stress.
Both sentences have the same three words. But specific arrangement of words gives
"the meaning". Such a sentence, we call it grammatically correct. Many people answer
the (b) is the correct answer. This is what we learned and apply in our communication
and even in our life. In communication it is ok, but if you apply the same in your life, you
will pay a heavy price, in the form of ill-health or illness.
What if, I tell you the sentences (a) and (b) both are wrong. Obviously, I am not
referring to Wren & Martin English grammar book but according to your Emotional
Grammar, the grammar, which your subconscious mind understands. Not only
understands but reacts to it.
When somebody approaches me for stress management solution, you know, what I do
the first and foremost thing. Correct the emotional grammar.
Let me elaborate on it. If sentence (b) I have stress, is the correct sentence. I will ask
you PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME. Looks strange right? Not really.
Let me explain further.
- I have the pen I can give it to you.
- I have the watch I can give you.
- I have the bracelet, I can give you.
When you say, you have stress, please give to me.
"How can it be given? I feel it inside me. I can't give it to you physically." If these are the
thoughts you are having now, I would like to correct it.
You can't give me. Because you don't have it, but YOU DO IT. You don't have the
stress, but you do the Stress, knowingly, unknowingly or deliberately.
Let's have a Quick Exercise:
Just take a long deep breath, close your eyes for a moment and repeat the sentence "I
have stress" with a deep emotion for five times. Notice the way you are feeling inside
your mind. Notice how your body is responding to your words.
Now just take one more long deep breath, and repeat the sentence "I am doing stress"
with the deep emotion for five times. Notice the way you are feeling inside your mind.
Notice how your body is responding to your words.
Slowly open your eyes.
I hope now you understood how the words you use have an impact on your mind and
body.
When you say "I have stress" you are literally closing all the available doors of personal
transformation. Because you don't have any control, you are helpless, and you a feel
you are a victim. Your body reacts to it to cope with the stressful event.
When you say "I am doing stress" instead of "I have stress" you can sense that you are
not a victim but the real culprit. Your mind says "Idiot, stop doing it."
If I am doing stress, that means I can stop doing it too. Because I have the control.
In NLP there is a beautiful presupposition: You are in charge of your mind, hence for
your results.
Stress is your learned behavior. You have learned to do it, not in school, college or
university but on your own. Do you know what it means? You can unlearn to do stress.
Once you know how you are doing stress, then you can stop doing it. Neuro-Linguistic
Programming (NLP) is one tool which shows you how you do what you do.
In conclusion I will say, just by correcting one sentence you can initiate the process of
your personal transformation. And you can transform stress into your strength. I will
speak more about how stressful life is a meaningful life in my next video.
Stay tuned, Stay Curious.
Author: Bhujabali Bogar,
Founder,
Happiness Engineer,
NLP & Wellness Coach @ Transformo Incorp, Bengaluru.
Happiness Engineer,
NLP & Wellness Coach @ Transformo Incorp, Bengaluru.